I am writing this to a man I love. My best friend. My lover. This is for you.
Long ago, you were my best friend and I fell for your charm. We got closer and began dating. We sometimes went to the movies or ate in restaurants together. I thought I would never be happier in my whole life. But life suddenly grew two heads. It seemed that our relationship became simple, yet confusing. Calm, but chaotic. Happy, yet sorrowful. And the more fights that arose, the more tightly I held on to you, because I didn't want to lose you! I wanted to be all you wanted.
But you left me. I suddenly found myself abandoned with a broken and bitter heart in my bloody hands. I had lost my best friend and the man I loved. I do not understand all of your reasons for erasing yourself out of my life the way you did. I feel as if the abyss between us grows larger with each passing day. But I am learning to live without you somehow. Time heals wounds. I accept the fact that we were not made to be lovers. I accept that you do not want to have anything more to do with me, although I do not know why you hate me so. In public, you pretend that I am invisible to you- do I disgust you that much? You don't want to talk. You don't want to be friends. And even though it kills me, I accept it. However, I still want to be your friend if at all possible.
So if there is ever a time that you think of me. If there is ever even a time that you remember and check my blog. I want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you, dear friend.
