Being 18...

Tonight is my last day being 18. And so I sit and ponder about exactly what it was like to be an 18 year old...

Being 18:
FIRST 6 MONTHS
It was the best year of my life! I found the best boyfriend in the whole world. 3/4 of the year was spent being real with this man, and he has made me completely happy. I opened up to my friends so much more this year and really showed the true me. My clothing style is completely different than when I was seventeen; I have three amazing pairs of leg warmers now, skinny jeans, my boots (lol), and just fancier outfits- stuff that makes me....ME. I also fell in love with hip hop music; I blame Cole. lol. If we hadn't gone late night bowling every Sunday night, I would not be blaring Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" on my way to school every morning. But it was so much fun... I bought my first car, Gracie I call her. I also graduated from high school, which was a great accomplishment for me. I memorized Conestoga's 12 year Bible memory program in less than 2 years, and for that I thank my heavenly Father above for blessing me with such ability!

LAST 6 MONTHS
But also Lord, you brought broken hearts to me throughout the year as well. The weight of their struggle and pain drained me inside to the point where I could not even function some days without your strength. I would curl up on my bed and cry for hours some days, overwhelmed by the sorrowful weight that laid upon my shoulders! How could I survive another day I would ask myself? There was an aching gash in my heart and I could not fix it! But you wanted to reach them and you chose me as your mirrored vessel. My boyfriend and I went through some difficulties as well- nobody is perfect. It strengthened us in the end. But solitude was what I struggled with the most. Alone all the time, at school, at home, sometimes even at church without my friends. I felt alone in the world; never have I felt so small and unimportant before. I was only one in the crowd. Trusting You with my future was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my entire life this year! But oh Jesus you brought me through, ahahaha with much fighting and kicking along the way, but we made it Friend!.....I thank you for my life....for everything....